Fidel Castro - 2016/11/27

Probably wouldn’t admit this publically but I had totally forgotten he was still around. Amazingly, it was back in 1959 that he seized power - Ethel Barrymore was still alive for Chrissake! and I wasn’t even a teenager (but you know what I was up to GTBTP™)

Anyways he’s dead meat now - something his fellow Cubans haven’t seen much of over the past 50+ years

I know I’ve come out with all the usual platitudes

“The world marks the passing of a brutal dictator who oppressed his own people for nearly six decades. Fidel Castro’s legacy is one of firing squads, theft, unimaginable suffering, poverty and the denial of fundamental human rights.”

But you’ve got to admire his chutzpah

Him and Che Guevara. The men who turned ‘I con’ into icon. Can’t help thinking Nike missed a trick by not offering them a marketing deal on their their trademark headgear.

Look at all that space just aching for a logo. They could have turned into a couple of fat cats

Luckily, he timed his death right for me (Wonder if the CIA are trying to get ahead of the game and in my good books). Left it a couple of months and his lying in state could have upstaged my inauguration or, worse still, left me with a tricky decision on whether or not to attend his funeral. If they leave him out until then he really will be lying in ‘a state’ (a putrid one).

Naturally, the GOP don’t want the POTUS to attend but if we are going to foster bi-lateral relationships there are some business opportunities to be exploited. After all, everyone knows a country isn’t really on the map unless it has at least one Trump Towers so there can be no suggestion of a conflict of interest

FYEO Book into the Trump International Hotel Las Vegas and get 25% off your stay with the coupon (APOTUSwhoisGOODFORUS)

Now you may be asking yourself why would the indoctrinated masses of the great unwashed in Cuba welcome the greatest capitalist constructor. Well as my great friend might have said

‘Commies need to sleep somewhere too’

— Michael Jordan

And when I visit for the official opening it will be with a touch of the

Qué pasa en La Habana, se queda en La Habana

— President Fulgencio Batista

Yep. Definitely bumps Burkina Faso down the list