Der Spiegel - 2017/02/05

This image has been doing the rounds

If that’s the best the EU comes up with in terms of biting satire they will be no match for me

The only thing cutting-edge about it is the knife

• “America First”. Well we can agree upon that

• Smartly-dressed man with a fine head of hair. No argument there, either

• Cutting head off Statue of Liberty. I’d be quite happy to dump that green-unrequested-19th-century-lump of copper despoiling the NY skyline back on the French (as a valuable export, of course). National Park We are planning to release National Parks back to the private sector and that prime land is ripe for development

Trump Towers, Liberty Island. Mmm! Has a nice ring to it

Why I’m not like Hitler, much

OK. I admit when you look at it like this, I kinda meet some of the criteria for being a fascist

However, associating me with Hitler goes beyond the pale. Here are some of the differences that clearly set us apart

Category	Hitler	Trump
Background	Austrian	German
Father	Bee Keeper	Beelionaire
Military Service	WWI volunteer	Draft Dodger
Foreign Policy	Expansionist	Isolationist
Election	Won Popular vote	Lost Popular Vote
Catchphrase	You’re invaded!	You’re fired!
Attitude to Walls	Went around	Likes building
Sexual Experience	Possibly impotent	Grabs them by the pussy
Physical Deformity	One testicle	Small(ish) hands
Literary Output	20thC best selling book	Tweets
Holocaust	Instigator	Denier
Thwarted Ambition	1000 year 3rd Reich	Nailing Princess Di
Hobby	Watercolor painting	Reruns of ‘The Apprentice’

Couldn’t be two people with less in common - unless you count Charles and Di (I could have had her, you know)