November 2016
Secretary of State
One of the onerous tasks I have before me is picking a Secretary of State. With Kerry and Clinton the previous incumbents, it appears to be used as a consolation prize for losing Presidential candidates rather than based on merit; but that hardly narrows the field.
There are four prime candidates, according to CBS
Rudy Giuliani - The ultimate brown-noser has been bigging himself up by bragging about how many countries he has visited. Of course, he just flies in to the capital, gives a speech, pockets 100 grand and flies out so would provide no useful experience. He’ll need to supply receipts confirming he stayed at my hotels in every city to have a chance
Mitt Romney - I referred to him as “one of the dumbest and worst candidates in the history of Republican politics” but that in no way rules him out. With his Christian (Ed. Is that still allowed?) name, at least he’d be half way to a safe pair of hands. If he starts becoming a loose cannon I can always order him off to North Korea for exploratory talks on bilateral agreements. That would be the last we see of him
David Petraeus - As an Army General and Director of the CIA he will be the most familiar with other countries - at least on how to destabilize them.
His big issue is the sex scandal with his biographer. As you can see, he is another GTBTP™ guy (They’re not holding hands - she’s just noticed the photographer and is holding him off) and maybe should have been my vice president, literally!
I’m not judging him but the evangelical voters whom I might need to rely on in 2020 would. Plus his name rhymes with ‘Betray us’
Marine Gen. John Kelly (ret) - No idea who he is, which, looking at the alternatives above, is a major selling point. Bit concerned that ‘ret’ is the PC equivalent of retarded and his name sounds too much like the present incumbent so would worry that the Republicans in Senate (not the brightest bunch on the planet) will fail to confirm him
So, as you can see, I’m hardly spoilt for choice. I’m thinking of inviting them and Alex Trebek over and put them through a closed room show of
Whoever I choose, the world will be a more dangerous place.
Question-suggestions (keep them simple please) much appreciated
0.1 Update
I had a friendly chat over dinner with Mitt after which he was effusive about me
However, I won’t be going to Jean Georges again as the waiters screwed up. Mitt was the one that ordered the soup with the long spoon
Fidel Castro
Probably wouldn’t admit this publically but I had totally forgotten he was still around. Amazingly, it was back in 1959 that he seized power - Ethel Barrymore was still alive for Chrissake! and I wasn’t even a teenager (but you know what I was up to GTBTP™)
Anyways he’s dead meat now - something his fellow Cubans haven’t seen much of over the past 50+ years
I know I’ve come out with all the usual platitudes
“The world marks the passing of a brutal dictator who oppressed his own people for nearly six decades. Fidel Castro’s legacy is one of firing squads, theft, unimaginable suffering, poverty and the denial of fundamental human rights.”
But you’ve got to admire his chutzpah
Him and Che Guevara. The men who turned ‘I con’ into icon. Can’t help thinking Nike missed a trick by not offering them a marketing deal on their their trademark headgear.
Look at all that space just aching for a logo. They could have turned into a couple of fat cats
Luckily, he timed his death right for me (Wonder if the CIA are trying to get ahead of the game and in my good books). Left it a couple of months and his lying in state could have upstaged my inauguration or, worse still, left me with a tricky decision on whether or not to attend his funeral. If they leave him out until then he really will be lying in ‘a state’ (a putrid one).
Naturally, the GOP don’t want the POTUS to attend but if we are going to foster bi-lateral relationships there are some business opportunities to be exploited. After all, everyone knows a country isn’t really on the map unless it has at least one Trump Towers so there can be no suggestion of a conflict of interest
FYEO Book into the Trump International Hotel Las Vegas and get 25% off your stay with the coupon (APOTUSwhoisGOODFORUS)
Now you may be asking yourself why would the indoctrinated masses of the great unwashed in Cuba welcome the greatest capitalist constructor. Well as my great friend might have said
‘Commies need to sleep somewhere too’
— Michael Jordan
And when I visit for the official opening it will be with a touch of the
Qué pasa en La Habana, se queda en La Habana
— President Fulgencio Batista
Yep. Definitely bumps Burkina Faso down the list
Recount
Pretty much unknown to all but family and friends, someone called Jill Stein, the leader of an organization termed the ‘Green Party’, ran a pointless Presidential campaign.
All she achieved from that effort was to siphon off votes from #CrookedHillary™. I’m guessing some of CH’s butch friends have been strong-arming her (or worse) in the washrooms and in an attempt to redeem herself with the feministas she has suggested the need for a recount in three states with the implication of a rigged election. What a far-fetched and un-American suggestion!
Somehow, she has raised enough money from her buddies to actually enact this. You would think it would be better used in rescuing a few Polar Bears from over heating.
or maybe some cosmetic surgery (just banter girls :))
Anyways there’s no chance of it coming to anything according to some expert called Nate Silver(Ed. uh-oh)
UPDATE 2016/11/28
Well crookedHillary has decided after all to join in this farce! Proving two things
- She will always be a follower - even of someone with barely 1% of the vote
- She can’t even keep her word for three weeks. Remember this
We must accept this result, and then look to the future. Donald Trump is going to be our president. We owe him an open mind and the chance to lead.
— humiliated Democrat candidate
So much for taking the high road. She wouldn’t even recognize it if she was at Everest base camp looking at an arrow pointing up
This is an R Markdown Notebook. When you execute code within the notebook, the results appear beneath the code.
Try executing this chunk by clicking the Run button within the chunk or by placing your cursor inside it and pressing Ctrl+Shift+Enter.
library(tidyverse)
library(plotly)
wealth=c(50,100)
pop=c(50,6500000000)
df <- tibble(wealth,pop)
df %>%
plot_ly(x=~pop,y=~wealth)library(babynames)
glimpse(babynames)## Observations: 1,825,433
## Variables: 5
## $ year <dbl> 1880, 1880, 1880, 1880, 1880, 1880, 1880, 1880, 1880, 188...
## $ sex <chr> "F", "F", "F", "F", "F", "F", "F", "F", "F", "F", "F", "F...
## $ name <chr> "Mary", "Anna", "Emma", "Elizabeth", "Minnie", "Margaret"...
## $ n <int> 7065, 2604, 2003, 1939, 1746, 1578, 1472, 1414, 1320, 128...
## $ prop <dbl> 0.072383587, 0.026678961, 0.020521490, 0.019865786, 0.017...hadley <- babynames %>%
filter(name=="Hadley")